Spiritual Relationships: How To Form Deeper Bonds With Your Partner
Many often seek wholeness through relationships. ‘My other half’ is a common expression. Your identity becomes entangled with this person, you lose yourself in them. This is of course fine, when things are good. When things turn bad, however, this is when this becomes a problem. Many humans only ever experience what I would call ‘surface relationships’. They form relationships only based on surface level pleasures. Attachment, desire, lust, sex. These are the surface level pleasures that create the relationship. Without any knowledge of the depths of Being however – the truth that in the undercurrent of reality you and your lover are one – the relationship will always be lacking something and thus will most likely turn sour at some point. It is lacking an essential sustenance, much like a plant not getting any sunlight.
When your partner can no longer bring you that rush of ecstasy you may experience in the first few years of dating you may grow resentful and even hateful towards them. What you have failed to realise is that in truth all that happened is you built the relationship with only one half of the ingredients to make a fulfilling partnership. The surface half are the surface level pleasures that do feel great and can be enjoyed. But the deeper half that is essential for true love to be is very often missed. To find the deeper half comes from seeing beyond the surface of your partner and connecting with their essence. To feel the Being in them reflected back at the Being of who you are. With this comes an undercurrent connection where the two of you merge as one. This is not a needy, co-dependency. It is deeper than that. Many relationships never actually experience love, they experience lust. And thus, when that lust ends, so does the relationship.
Love is when the Being in you connects with the Being in another. You feel Home through them and thus Home reflects back at you. Your spirits emerge intertwined in form and Being alivens your connection every moment you exist on this planet Earth. Being sustains you and thus you do not seek sustenance in the surface reality of your partner. You need nothing from them, you feel yourself as whole already. In the dimension of Being you are whole, you are one, and you are complete. As you recognise this you can still take part in this world, of course. In fact, taking part actually becomes more enjoyable. You enjoy it as you would perhaps a video game. You explore, you take risks, you still do, yet there is a less heaviness to it. Things don’t matter as much. Because you have found the secret to living, you have connected with the pearl in the depths of Being.
Your relationships become deeper as you sense your essence in Being. You see through the egoic shell of another and feel your Home in them, and then of course they feel the same in you. This is why humans love babies, and dogs, and other animals. They do not have an egoic shell – a veil – blocking access to Being. Being is felt as we look into the eyes of these animals, or babies, because the heaviness of the veil is not blocking it. The human mind has not yet become cluttered with things. It is spacious: formlessness can still shine through. As you feel this in yourself you will become as the baby, or as the dog. The unmanifested Home from where we emanate shines through you and awakens others. A Light shines from you and transmutes the darkness around you into more Light.
To form deeper bonds, you need the other half of the relationship to become activated. This doesn’t mean you need your partner to awaken if they are not yet ready, that is not essential. You don’t need to force them to read this book if they yet cannot grasp it. Instead, be the Light for the both of you. Be the Light that can see through the egoic shell of your partner and simply be there for you both. They may not outwardly express a difference, but they will feel it in their depths. Even if they cannot conceptually grasp a change, a change will take place. A lightness comes between the both of you, less heaviness, less ego. You become the connecting source of Being and thus the relationship takes on a new depth through you.